Aside from the morally questionable game of “If I could steal one thing” that I play in museums, I tend to go through them fantasizing about putting irreverent Post-It notes up hither and thither. Knowing that museums tend to frown on that, I do not, of course, do it. Still, I think it would be a very interesting social experiment to see how people engaged with non-official, humorous commentary. Would they take them down in disgust? Post their own if they could in response? Methinks it would be an amusing experiment, but we shall, alas, never know.
Being in New York for a few days, I am doing the rounds of small museums built by American industrialists. Yesterday it was the Frick, today the Morgan Pierpont for the one and only U.S. stop for Tolkien: Maker of Middle Earth. So, before I head for the day, I thought I’d post the “Post-Its” that I couldn’t put up in the Frick.
Giovanni Battista Moroni
Giovanni Gerolamo Grumelli, called Il Cavaliere in Rosa (The Man in Pink), dated 1560
Fondazione Museo di Palazzo Moroni, Bergamo – Lucretia Moroni Collection
“Giovanni! Did you just knock another sculpture on the ground, young man? Basta! How many times do I have to tell you not to wear that esecrabile sword in the house!”
“Wait! I’m not ready. I just put a lozenge in my…. Oh, never mind.”
This spring, the fashion forward woman will be matching her hair to her feather. Ladies, this is de rigueur.
Portrait of a Man in a Red Cap Titian (Italian, ca. 1488–1576) Date: ca. 1510
“Mama said this cap was a mistake, but she was sooo wrong. (She also told me, I should shave my stubble and get a real haircut. The woman knows nothing.) My hat is no worse than that guy over there…”
“Are you talking to me? Are you seriously talking to me, you fop? My hat has points! Yes, fine. They’re soft points because it’s velvet, but it’s still a bloody serious hat. Yours looks like an undercooked pudding. Poltroon.”
“Points are for mustaches. Not hats. As for the pudding monstrosity, the less said the better. You’re both rather preposterous. Ask Mrs. Leyland over there.”
“Would you all just be quiet and let me contemplate the van Ruisdael? Peace and a fine prospect. That’s all I ask for.”
And now, if I could steal one thing….
Trapped in the Scriptorium 
I’m so intrigued by the painting you selected to abscond with (imaginatively). Can’t figure out how to rephrase that sentence for better grammar. U-Hm. Would you tell us why that one, some day?
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It’s entitled Officer and Laughing Girl, I believe, and he’s clearly entertaining her with tales of his travels. I love the world map hanging on the wall behind her. It evocatively suggests the range of tales and experience. Such a gem of a painting!!!
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You are not going to believe this – I was at the Frick on Tuesday afternoon! All I can say is…nothing about codpieces!
JSM
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Note my restraint: not one Post-It about cod pieces….
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Great job. I do love the epic More/Cromwell ‘staredown’ with Jerome presiding from above the fireplace.
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Agreed with the stealing. And with regard to the silly hats. I love me a silly hat, but I reserve my right â with you â to mock them, too.
Xoxo
m
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There was a Gainsborough with a spectacular hat, and the sitter knew it. She just stared out at you with an expression that was 50% insouciant charm and 50% aristocratic arrogance. (Did I mention a hat the size of a stewpot.?) Perfection.
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